Step 1: If your car hasn’t finished any of the races this season, change its number. This is proven to be an effective strategy. Example: If car #95 has podiumed before, but not yet this year, a simple change of number to, say, #999 will allow the car to finish the race.

Step 2: Swiffer the sh*t out of the car. This will remove dirt and make it go moar fast.

Step 3: Simply get better fuel mileage. This will make you need to stop less. *Pro tip: remove rear windshield and corner windows and replace with lexan. Also, remove brace from the hood. It will be flimsy as hell, so when you swiffer the car, make sure to avoid denting the hood and/or scratching the crap out of the rear windows.

Step 4: Laps. Drive all the laps. This allows you to do exactly what it sounds like–– have a lot of laps… which you need to win an endurance race.

Step 5: Have timely pit stops. Get them done in the allotted time with only seconds to spare. This allows you to drive more laps.

Step 6: FCYs are your friend if anything (like brakes) needs to get done. These allow you to lose a minimal number of laps when all goes downhill.


Step 7: Don’t break anything… especially in the last forty-five minutes. Breaking something will not let you drive all the laps. It will prevent you from driving all the laps. And if you have driven almost all the laps, and suddenly cannot drive more laps, that will suck.

Happy motoring.